Poulet tchoupitoulas

Active: 45 minutes; Total: 2 hours 30 minutes; Yield: 4 to 6

Butter, unsalted	1 tablespoon + 2 tablespoons
Onions, yellow; julienned	3 cups
Bell pepper, red; chopped	½ cup
Salt	2 teaspoons + 1 tablespoon
Cayenne	¼ teaspoon + ⅛ teaspoon + ½ tablespoon
Pepper, freshly ground	1 tablespoon +
Andouille sausage	½ pound
Garlic; chopped	1 tablespoon
Sweet corn; kernels removed	1 ear
Eggs	5 large
Heavy cream	2 cups
Tabasco	¼ teaspoon
Worcestershire sauce	1 teaspoon
Crusty bread; cubed	4 cups
Parmigiano-Reggiano; grated	½ cup
Paprika	3 ¾ teaspoons
Garlic powder	1 tablespoon
Onion powder	½ tablespoon
Oregano, dried	½ tablespoon
Thyme, dried	½ tablespoon
Vegetable oil	½ cup +
Chicken thighs	6 pounds

1. Preheat oven to 350°F; grease a 2-quart glass rectangular baking dish with 1-tablespoon butter. 
2. In a large sauté pan over medium-high heat, melt 2-tablespoons butter, then add the onions, bell pepper, 1-teaspoon salt, and ¼-teaspoon cayenne. 
3. Season generously with pepper, and sauté until the onions are soft and start to brown, about 6 minutes. 
4. Add the sausage, and continue to cook for 3 minutes. 
5. Add the garlic and corn, and cook for 1 minute; remove from heat and set aside. 
6. In a mixing bowl, whisk the eggs for 30 seconds. 
7. Add the cream, 1-teaspoon salt, ⅛-teaspoon cayenne, Tabasco, and Worcestershire; whisk until fully incorporated. 
8. Stir in the sautéed sausage mixture, and then add the bread cubes; mix well. 
9. Transfer the filling to the prepared dish, and sprinkle with cheese. 
10. Bake until golden brown and set, about 55 minutes. 
11. In a small bowl, combine paprika, 1-tablespoon salt, garlic powder, ½-tablespoon pepper, onion powder, ½-tablespoon cayenne, oregano, and thyme with the oil; mix well. 
12. Smear the mixture evenly over each piece of chicken. 
13. Heat a large oven-safe sauté pan over medium-high heat. 
14. When hot, add enough oil to coat the bottom of the pan. 
15. Place the chicken in the pan skin side down, and sear until a deep golden brown, about 6 to 8 minutes. 
16. Turn the chicken, and place in the oven, roasting until the juices run clear, about 25 to 30 minutes. 
17. Remove from the oven, and rest for 5 minutes before serving. 

Recipe mildly adapted from Emeril Lagasse’s recipe featured in The Last Holiday.

Mac & Chessus™ with Satan’s shrimp & Son-dried tomatoes

Oil, olive	¼ cup
Parsley, fresh, chopped	1/8 cup
Lemon juice	1
Tabasco	2 tablespoons
Garlic, minced	3 cloves
Tomato paste	1 tablespoon
Oregano, dried	2 teaspoons
Salt	1 teaspoon
Pepper, freshly ground	1 teaspoon
Shrimp, cooked, peeled, deveined, tails removed	1 pound
Mac & Chessus™	12 ounces
Tomatoes, sun-dried, chopped	4
Butter, unsalted	Greasing
Panko	½ cup
Parmesan, shaved	½ cup

"Pinch the tail. Suck the head. Burn in hell." Leviticus 11:9-12 & Deuteronomy 14:9-10, paraphrased

"What doesn't give you a heart attack is good for your stomach." Mark 7:19, misrepresented immodestly 

Praise Chessus (and my friend Katie Knowles) for this blessed dish!

1. In a carpenter-crafted wooden mixing bowl, whisk together the oil, parsley, lemon juice, hot sauce, garlic, tomato paste, oregano, salt, and pepper. 
2. Pour the marinated into a large, cleaned lamb's intestine (or resealable plastic bag), add the shrimp, seal, and marinate in the refrigerator for 2 hours. 
3. Preheat a Pit of Hell (or oven) to 425°F; ensure a rack is positioned in the center; grease a Roman solider's metal breastplate (or oven-proof 9x13-inch casserole dish) with butter. 
4. Remove the shrimp from marinade; discard the juices. 
5. Prepare the Mac & Cheeses as God intended, according to the package directions. 
6. After combining the butter and milk with the heavenly bestowed cheese mix and cooked pasta, gently stir in the shrimp and sun-dried tomatoes; transfer the mixture to the prepared casserole dish. 
7. Sprinkle with the panko and Parmesan, and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until heated thoroughly and the top is golden.
8. Enjoy in heavenly solitude or with your favorite congregation!

Special Thank You! to Katie (jesusimhungry.com) for the blessing of Mac & Cheesus! You've cooked up a sinfully fun mealtime.

Crawfish étouffée

Paprika	1 tablespoon
Salt, kosher	2 teaspoons
Pepper, freshly ground	1 teaspoon
Thyme, dried	1 teaspoon
Cayenne	½ teaspoon
Oil, vegetable	½ cup
Flour, all-purpose	1 cup
Poblano chili, seeded, diced	1
Celery, diced	3 stalks
Onion, yellow, diced	1 medium
Garlic, chopped	3 cloves
Jalapeño, seeded, diced	1
Seafood stock	2 cups
Crawfish tails (peeled) or shrimp (unpeeled), thawed	2 pounds
Parsley, chopped	¼ cup
Lemon juice, fresh	2 tablespoons
Worcestershire sauce	1 tablespoon
Rice, white, cooked	8 cups
Scallions, sliced	½ cup
Tabasco	2 teaspoons +

1. In a small bowl, combine the paprika, salt, pepper, thyme, and cayenne; set aside. 
2. In a large stockpot, heat the oil over medium-high heat. 
3. Add the flour, stir in well, and reduce the heat to medium-low. 
4. Cook, stirring constantly, until the roux is caramel in color, about 20 minutes. 
5. Add the poblano, celery, and onion; cook, stirring constantly, until the vegetables are tender, about 10 minutes. 
6. Add the garlic, jalapeño, and paprika mixture; cook 2 minutes. 
7. Gradually whisk in the stock, and then return to a simmer over medium-high heat. 
8. Stir in the crawfish (or shrimp), parsley, juice, Worcestershire, and Tabasco; cook until warm, about 2 to 3 minutes. 
9. Serve over rice with the scallions and extra Tabasco.